I’m Mystic Megson, I am, and when I predict the weekend’s Premier League results, people listen. Just because I’m currently battling for promotion to the Championship with Sheffield Wednesday – and doing a bloody good job of it too, thank you very much – it doesn’t mean that I don’t still know my onions when it comes to picking apart the greatest league in the world. I have managed in it, you know, and on more than one occasion. Now hang your hat on this lot, lads…

Sunderland v Swansea City, Saturday 3pm

Martin O’Neill’s Sunderland side are nothing if not resurgent, hence the nickname I thought of myself for them: Martin O’Neill’s Resurgent Sunderland Side. Not bad, eh? And, with four wins from seven league games, neither is Martin’s record at the Stadium of Light thus far. Crikey, did I just use the word ‘thus’? Anyway, it would be a real piece de persistence if he could lead the Black Cats to Europe this year, and with that Segen Snegson one what does all the fancy dribbles in their side, they might just do it.

Last week, I predicted Sunderland to go down 1-0 at Chelsea to a Frank Lampard goal, and that’s concisely what happened. Score one for Meggo!

Everyone’s fallen a little bit in love with Brendan Rogers and his Swans side this season. I know I have! It’s completely bloody amazing how he’s got them playing like what they are, and with the lad McEac McMegso coming in from Chelsea there’s no reason why the likes of Danny Graham and Scott Sinclair shouldn’t keep filling their boots. That reminds me, I must nip to the chemist’s. ‘Er indoors would’ve killed me if I’d’ve forgotten the Beechams, poor lamb. Still, at least I can successfully advocate a pie supper takeaway on the grounds that I don’t want her sneezing all over my cauliflower cheese like nobody’s business.

Last week, I said these’d get beat 3-0 by Arsenal. So I sort of got an inverted version of the score half-right, when you think about it.

Mystic Megson says: 2-1 Sunderland, goals from Bedknob and Wickham putting the balls on an early Nathan Dyer screamer. Hang your painting on that, lads!