The best transfer deadline day jokes as January window closes

Chilly night sees late flurry of deals.


There were transfer deadline day jokes and tweets as contracts were signed ahead of the 18/19 January window closing

The January transfer window for the 2018-19 season has slammed shut on a very cold night in England and another deadline day is over.

The major stories included Marouane Fellaini leaving Manchester United for China and veteran striker Peter Crouch arriving at Burnley from Stoke in a swap deal for Sam Vokes.

Newcastle have broken finally broken their long-standing transfer record by signing Miguel Almirón for £20m from Atlanta and Leicester have brought in Monaco’s Youri Tielemans on loan.

Chelsea’s Michy Batshuayi has also reportedly had a move to Crystal Palace on loan agreed according to late speculation.

These were the best tweets and jokes from transfer deadline day this January:



Just think, somewhere right now Jim White is doing a hundred press ups in front of a mirror naked whilst screaming ‘THE CLOCK IS TICKING’

— Elliot Hackney (@ElliotHackney) January 31, 2019

Peter Crouch has reportedly failed his Burnley medical after banging his head on the culvert #twitterclarets

— Daz Mckavett (@Dazmac1882) January 31, 2019

Is it still #DeadlineDay if @Redknapp isn’t leaning out of the car window? #StillABigMac #NotABigMac pic.twitter.com/TOoRF9x5RS

— McDonald's UK (@McDonaldsUK) January 31, 2019


Peter Crouch isn’t even his real name. It’s what his mum used to shout at him after he ruined three pendant lights in the good room

— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) January 31, 2019

Northern Ireland’s most successful bingo player. https://t.co/p1iZW6FnSe

— Skillsmcgill (@skillsmcgill) January 31, 2019

Sky Sports currently trying to big up a loan move for Vincent Janssen. Let's just all admit #DeadlineDay peaked and died the moment that lad put a purple dildo in someone's ear.

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) January 31, 2019


Eden Hazard is doing everything he can to leave Chelsea on #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/gHzo9isOCq

— ODDSbible (@ODDSbible) January 31, 2019

Jose trying to stop Fellaini's plane leaving for China #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/NsjgXkqvUr

— betclever (@bet_clever) January 31, 2019

BREAKING: West Ham United are close to signing Brazilian Série A striker Nobodinho.#DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/jIqje877GP

— Wᴇsᴛ Hᴀᴍ Sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ (@WestHamSocial) January 31, 2019


BREAKING: Lazar Markovic is still a Liverpool player. #DeadlineDay

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) January 31, 2019

#lcfc Leaked Tielemans photo pic.twitter.com/S87rlUYfRB

— FoxInTheBoxes (@Foxintheboxes) January 31, 2019

Peter Crouch in Burnley to agree a deal #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/THaKXHGeT3

— Football Burp ⚽ (@FootballBurp) January 31, 2019

Veteran striker, Peter Crouch announces his retirement from football…. And signs for Burnley. pic.twitter.com/VDQjlbCaXI

— Tony Mowbray™️ (@Imtonymowbray) January 31, 2019

Can anyone get me an administration job at @ManUtd? "Must have experience in Microsoft Word and fake contract creations" #DeadlineDay #mufc pic.twitter.com/HPPAMeDMgJ

— Ant (@AntonMUFC1991) January 31, 2019

#DeadlineDay a crushing bore as usual. Non-descript loans and squad players.

This is the sort of bollocks I want to see… pic.twitter.com/51lDliM2GF

— Proper Football (@sid_lambert) January 31, 2019

Sky Sources: Reports are currently suggesting that Kilmarnock Striker Kris Boyd is on the way to McDonald’s. #DeadlineDay

— robbbbl (@Rob_Lawrie) January 31, 2019


Peter Crouch has taken a stroll around the pitch at Turf Moor and while he was at it he brought down 37 discarded footballs from the top of the stands and changed 4 floodlight bulbs #twitterclarets

— Daz Mckavett (@Dazmac1882) January 31, 2019

#DeadlineDay latest… pic.twitter.com/VzkGbyLs1X

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) January 31, 2019

✍️ We've been quiet for several hours this #DeadlineDay

But patience is a… pic.twitter.com/G2LvpmTfaP

— Blackpool FC (@BlackpoolFC) January 31, 2019


Lazar Markovic emerging from his hiding place when the clock strikes 11pm. #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/BnTZDRQ6ml

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) January 31, 2019




Jim White: 'Google searches for Youri Tielemans have increased in the past few days. What do you think this means?'

Big Sam: 'No f*cking idea, did nobody order a garlic dip with this pizza, are you lot animals or what?'

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) January 31, 2019

Sky sports Deadline TRANSFER NEWS. Spurs new signing an Electrician to finish off the Stadium ! pic.twitter.com/EwvIynG6Ve

— Anthony Mahoney (@AnthonyMahoney3) January 31, 2019

Hopefully once Grigg starts banging them in at a big club he might finally break into that England Squad

— RossCheal (@RossCheal10) January 31, 2019

It’s snowing outside, Markovic has FINALLY been sold, it’s a Christmas miracle.

— – (@AnfieldRd96) February 1, 2019

Only a couple more seasons and we’ll get Peter Crouch . #Everton

— SpinBri (@BigBMylod) January 31, 2019