The best jokes from England 2-0 Malta, Gareth Southgate’s first game in charge

New caretaker manager builds on the boring legacy of his predecessors in World Cup qualifier.

We collected the jokes from England 2-0 Malta, Gareth Southgate's first game in charge, which was boring

These were the best jokes from England 2-0 Malta, as caretaker manager Gareth Southgate took the reins of the national team for the first time and continued to build on the boring legacy of his predecessors.

With Sam Allardyce left to rue what might have been, the new, perhaps temporary, administration had the chance to make a big statement against one of the sport’s international minnows in the World Cup qualifier on Saturday.

But an underwhelming performance did little to inspire fans who have seen a high turnover of managers but seemingly indistinguishable playing style and team selection.

Here are the best jokes from England 2-0 Malta, Southgate’s first game in charge:

BREAKING-BEWARE at 5pm tomorrow in London as 11 CLOWNS will be running around in England strips!

— Mark Robinson (@robboma3) October 7, 2016

The best striker to ever wear an England shirt. ⚽️🇧🇷 pic.twitter.com/UZ0JlKUsSD

— Football__Tweet (@Football__Tweet) October 8, 2016

For those wondering where Wayne Rooney will play, England are expected to line up like this: #ENGMAL pic.twitter.com/hbfj9SfuhS

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) October 8, 2016

@England @FIFAWorldCup hhahahhhaha great banter lads now show us the real team

— Enes (@NoMorMercy) October 8, 2016

This is why England doesn't deserve good things pic.twitter.com/qqysY850KC

— Simon (@lmaosimon) October 8, 2016

Stayed in to watch #ENGMAL with Spanish commentary. A new low.

— Stu Bennett (@StuBennett) October 8, 2016

Most interesting fact gleaned from this England match so far is that Jonathan Ross's show is still going #ENGMAL

— Football Burp ⚽ (@FootballBurp) October 8, 2016

I admire the resilience of English football fans. Hats off to you all for still being interested #ENGMAL 😴😴😴

— Elaine Copperwaite (@Ef4vescent) October 8, 2016

England players when Daniel Sturridge is on the ball… pic.twitter.com/PUpzAi1kG5

— BenchWarmers (@BeWarmers) October 8, 2016

I miss Kane's corners #ENGMAL

— Alex (@grampyrabbit) October 8, 2016

Big Sam is probably out in Barbados now getting his cock sucked

— Andrew (@FutbolAndrew) October 8, 2016

Any chance the Telegraph can do a sting on the England Band?

— Jonny Gabriel (@JonnyGabriel) October 8, 2016

Pointless Celebrities on BBC1 right now. And a fair few playing against Malta on ITV as well.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) 8 October 2016

Southgate to win all 4 games, land the job with the press bumming him to then get found out for being tactically inept V real teams. Odds on

— Paul O Keefe (@pokeefe1) October 8, 2016

FOOTBALL FACT: Every time he mentions 'Bodies in the box', the Co-op gives Glenn Hoddle £50 off his funeral #ENGMAL

— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) October 8, 2016

Southgate is your Dad's younger mate from work. He can get your PlayStation chipped & occasionally turns up at yours when he's been dumped.

— Mundial Magazine (@MundialMag) October 8, 2016


— Danny Baker (@prodnose) October 8, 2016

All that is wrong with the modem game right there #ENGMAL pic.twitter.com/yd1NuRUOo8

— Eddie (@Edster66) October 8, 2016

There can't be that much to do in London if 82,000 people have chosen to go and watch this game. #ENGMAL

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) October 8, 2016

When even the dog looks despondent #ENGMAL #englandvmalta pic.twitter.com/LVylrSaYEy

— Kerie-Anne (@KerieAnnie) October 8, 2016

Well at least you can say there are no easy internationals anymore. As Malta are finding out – they thought they'd piss this.

— Danny Baker (@prodnose) 8 October 2016

When will they realise Rooney's best position is left out of the squad #ENGMAL

— Nicola Macpherson (@Nikij13) October 8, 2016

Best tweet I've seen:

I'm gonna turn over to Strictly in a minute so I can see someone finish off a move #engmal

— Rich Sears (@RichSears1) October 8, 2016


— MY_MUMS_COLA (@MY_MUMS_COLA) October 8, 2016

Clive Tyldesley trying to talk Malta up here. Their centre-midfielder works in a cafeteria. #ENGMAL

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) October 8, 2016

Well that was dull #ENGMAL

— Els (@Edaws93) October 8, 2016

#ENGMAL 90 mins I'll never get back😴😴😴

— Foxy (@foxster1977) October 8, 2016

Am I glad I didn't pay to watch that.#ENGMAL

— Kemlyn Road Stand (@KemlynRoadStand) October 8, 2016

England fans urging undercover Telegraph reporters to arrange meetings with the entire England team

— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) October 8, 2016

Boos ring around Wembley. Not nice to hear, but far less painful than listening to this lot for 90 mins!🎺🎶 #ENGMAL pic.twitter.com/Mxj13tAt4e

— CaughtOffside (@caughtoffside) October 8, 2016

"Bit underwhelming in the second half"? Second half?! It's been underwhelming for 20 years! #ENGMAL

— Dai Salthaus (@DaiSalthaus) October 8, 2016

England games should be free to attend but on way out the FA have buckets into which people can put what they think the performance deserved

— Danny Baker (@prodnose) October 8, 2016

Wayne Rooney got nutmegged by a plumber this evening… #ENGMALhttps://t.co/FOpczoH6cK

— BigSport (@BigSportGB) October 8, 2016

I'd still rather have creepy clowns roaming the streets than Rooney roaming out of position.

— SundayLeagueHipster (@HipsterManager) October 7, 2016

#ENGMAL Massive fee, but this is a bit harsh. pic.twitter.com/dWMbEMFFeb

— TJCainDentalCeramics (@cain_terry) October 8, 2016

If @robymancio gets the England job, I'll buy some Lonsdale three quarters, and Union Jack T-Shirt and a trumpet, I'd probably vote Brexit!

— Steven Blades (@steven_blades) October 8, 2016