After another frighteningly dull performance from our treasured national side, console yourself with the best boring England jokes from the eventual 1-0 Denmark friendly win.
It wasn’t a great spectacle, but the introduction of Adam Lallana and Luke Shaw did give the appearance of green shoots in an otherwise mostly barren playing landscape.
So, taking you through the entire match right up until the final whistle, let’s just get right to the boring England jokes from the 1-0 Denmark friendly win.
Nice to see Rooney's lost a few pounds
#EngvDen pic.twitter.com/cYV8yOZwvy
— Sidney Abbott (@sidneyabbot) March 5, 2014
Just incase anyone wasnt aware it's a 23 man squad. So far every pundit has told us. Also nice to hear 'the Plane' get a mention #ENGvDEN
— Marc Fleckney (@Fleckers86) March 5, 2014
England will never win a world cup until the brass band have been assassinated #justsaying #EngvDen
— The Big Cheese (@KillianCollard) March 5, 2014
Wilshere very badly injured but made to continue so we don't have to bring on Cleverley #EngvDen
— Pitch (@pitchlondon) March 5, 2014
Roy Hodgson's big mistake tonight: he appears to have picked 2012 Jordan Henderson instead of 2014 Jordan Henderson. #EngvDen #EngvDen
— Richard Innes (@bigrichinnes) March 5, 2014
Just give the wall a lick of paint , then settle down with a nice brew and see how well it dries . #EngvDen
— Scott Hogan (@ScottHogan92) March 5, 2014
If Roy was hoping to dampen World Cup expectations with #EngvDen ..then he's doing brilliantly..
— Mike Liggins (@MikeLiggins) March 5, 2014
If you could pull a face to describe the first 40 minutes, what would it be? #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/oqsmj6iWJw
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 5, 2014
In the time it took for those two skied Rooney shots to land. He earned £67,456.13p #EngvDen @MirrorFootball
— Copyright (@UKcopyright) March 5, 2014
The spot where most of Rooney's shots have landed tonight. #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/CIOKpXjeNP
— Northern Exile (@AllyStokoe) March 5, 2014
Hmmm. Not sure the England boys are totally focused #EngvDen #selfie pic.twitter.com/W5o5PDSEhj
— Pitch (@pitchlondon) March 5, 2014
Jack Wilshere first half heatmap #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/bi4GNjyiLY
— onlydale (@onlydale) March 5, 2014
Time to wave bye bye to another 45 minutes of my life I'll never get back. #EngvDen
— Gavin Borthwick (@HullGamer) March 5, 2014
"Let's go back to Andy Townsend and Clive Tyldesley."
Let's not.
#EngvDen
— Niall Ledger (@MrNLedger) March 5, 2014
Lot of the fans tonight have come dressed as red seats #EngvDen
— Stephen Grant (@stephencgrant) March 5, 2014
Equally thrilling alternative to #EngvDen. pic.twitter.com/oVM2rxBkXh
— Mark Osmond (@markosmond2) March 5, 2014
So Denmark have got Sloth. Fair play to them. England on the other hand have avarice and gluttony but sadly no pride #EngvDen
— Robert Judd (@kedvesemraj) March 5, 2014
Put Cleverly on. Said nobody ever. #EngvDen
— Steven Anderton (@sanderton24) March 5, 2014
Where's Beckham? #EngVDen
— Squash Rumours (@SquashRumours) March 5, 2014
Good chance for Rooney to hit it over the bar here #EngvDen
— Andy Jack (@andyjack01) March 5, 2014
How many times will the commentators confuse Sturridge and Sterling before it gets racist?
— Ash Thompson (@AJT1892) March 5, 2014
Sadly, England fans have turned on each other. This game is frustrating but no need for this #kickitout #EngVDen pic.twitter.com/hbVa53OMOL
— Neil Robert Kingston (@TweetingKingo) March 5, 2014
This happened and it improved the #EngvDen game immensely pic.twitter.com/BzHuA3N6dF
— Andy Bennett (@BennettKaru) March 5, 2014
Any Danish speaking followers? Is the 'J' silent in Andreas Bjelland's name? Please say yes #EngvDen
— Lee Phelps (@leephelps) March 5, 2014
Ah. A Mexican Wave. This match just hit rock bottom. #EngvDen #England
— Chris (@C317G) March 5, 2014
Jordan Henderson just whacks it miles over from about 45 yards, then gobs on himself. Nice. #EngvDen
— Ian Rowbotham (@ianrowbo) March 5, 2014
Quite possibly the dullest match since… Well, the last one #EngvDen
— Matthew Cooper (@MattyCooper13) March 5, 2014
Summer flights to Brazil from most English airports now selling cheap on e-bay #EngvDen #bbcfootball
— Sam Gascoyne (@SamGascoyne2) March 5, 2014
ANOTHER 20 mins still..?? My life.. like grains of sand dripping away… #EngvDen
— PK (@khakipillowslip) March 5, 2014
A giraffe in a Danish zoo is more threatened than the Danish goal tonight. #EngDen #England #engvrsden #engvden
— ChelseaInSutton (@ChelseaInSutton) March 5, 2014
Roy off his seat with excitement at Wembley #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/mqrVmOFEgF
— Walkabout Bristol (@WalkaboutBS1) March 5, 2014
Not saying @LukeShaw3 is young, but the FIFA video game series is 2 years older than he is. released in 93. #PlayStationgeneration #EngvDen
— Stuart Rowson (@StuartRowson) March 5, 2014
Sol Cambell is on his way to wembley, Woy is gonna make him captain for the last 15 minutes #EngvDen
— Mr Mouse (@jasemouse) March 5, 2014
How poor is this game? The posh seats joined in with the Mexican wave, that's how poor this is. #EngvDen
— Crowie (@simoncrowe) March 5, 2014
The cream of English football, curdled by Roy Hodgson #EngvDen
— Nigel Moore (@ndlovuscores) March 5, 2014
Why Hodgson no play Cleverley? Game cry out for expert of sideway pass! #snoozefest #EngvDen
— C widge (@C_widge) March 5, 2014
A goal from a short corner????? What is this madness #ENGvDEN
— Danny Kelly (@BluenoseDanny) March 5, 2014
He did the dance. Instant red card. #EngvDen
— Adam Mills (@AdamMillsUK) March 5, 2014
Zzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzwha wha Yes! We're going to win the world cu zzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
#EngvDen
— Maxwell Watson (@ShrimperMax) March 5, 2014
#EngvDen 2 for 1 fake tan on Groupon I'll have some of that for the match me old mucka pic.twitter.com/yVYnDoxdGX
— Ron Ox (@mincheryfarmer) March 5, 2014
Raheem safe and sound. Or was that Sturridge getting subbed? #EngvDen
— Carraghercules (@ShawMcIver) March 5, 2014
This game surely can't get any worse.
…………….hello James Milner.
#EngvDen
— Mick Convey (@nalaknip) March 5, 2014
Well that's 90 minutes il never get back #Dull #EngvDen
— Carla Ward (@cwardy7) March 5, 2014
Christ that was tragic #EngvDen
— Dom Johnson (@DomWWFC1995) March 5, 2014
Sweet Lord that was terrible #EngvDen
— Jamie Tune (@JamieTune01) March 5, 2014
England are still 20/1 to win the World Cup. For those that don't understand betting, if you put £10 on, you lose £10. #EngvDen
— Dwayne Pipe (@NudgeAndNurdle) March 5, 2014
To who do I address my letter to the FA asking for the last 2 hours of my life back? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz #EngvDen
— Kenners (@RyanK792) March 5, 2014