The best boring England jokes from 1-0 Denmark friendly win

The best boring England jokes from the 1-0 Denmark friendly win, after another frighteningly dull performance from our treasured national side.

Wembley Stadium played host to the best boring England jokes from 1-0 Denmark friendly win
Wembley… Hosted dullfest (Image: Wonker)

After another frighteningly dull performance from our treasured national side, console yourself with the best boring England jokes from the eventual 1-0 Denmark friendly win.

It wasn’t a great spectacle, but the introduction of Adam Lallana and Luke Shaw did give the appearance of green shoots in an otherwise mostly barren playing landscape.

So, taking you through the entire match right up until the final whistle, let’s just get right to the boring England jokes from the 1-0 Denmark friendly win.

Nice to see Rooney's lost a few pounds #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/cYV8yOZwvy

— Sidney Abbott (@sidneyabbot) March 5, 2014

Just incase anyone wasnt aware it's a 23 man squad. So far every pundit has told us. Also nice to hear 'the Plane' get a mention #ENGvDEN

— Marc Fleckney (@Fleckers86) March 5, 2014

England will never win a world cup until the brass band have been assassinated #justsaying #EngvDen

— The Big Cheese (@KillianCollard) March 5, 2014

Wilshere very badly injured but made to continue so we don't have to bring on Cleverley #EngvDen

— Pitch (@pitchlondon) March 5, 2014

Roy Hodgson's big mistake tonight: he appears to have picked 2012 Jordan Henderson instead of 2014 Jordan Henderson. #EngvDen #EngvDen

— Richard Innes (@bigrichinnes) March 5, 2014

Just give the wall a lick of paint , then settle down with a nice brew and see how well it dries . #EngvDen

— Scott Hogan (@ScottHogan92) March 5, 2014

If Roy was hoping to dampen World Cup expectations with #EngvDen ..then he's doing brilliantly..

— Mike Liggins (@MikeLiggins) March 5, 2014

If you could pull a face to describe the first 40 minutes, what would it be? #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/oqsmj6iWJw

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 5, 2014

In the time it took for those two skied Rooney shots to land. He earned £67,456.13p #EngvDen @MirrorFootball

— Copyright (@UKcopyright) March 5, 2014

The spot where most of Rooney's shots have landed tonight. #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/CIOKpXjeNP

— Northern Exile (@AllyStokoe) March 5, 2014

Hmmm. Not sure the England boys are totally focused #EngvDen #selfie pic.twitter.com/W5o5PDSEhj

— Pitch (@pitchlondon) March 5, 2014

Jack Wilshere first half heatmap #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/bi4GNjyiLY

— onlydale (@onlydale) March 5, 2014

Time to wave bye bye to another 45 minutes of my life I'll never get back. #EngvDen

— Gavin Borthwick (@HullGamer) March 5, 2014

"Let's go back to Andy Townsend and Clive Tyldesley." Let's not. #EngvDen

— Niall Ledger (@MrNLedger) March 5, 2014

Lot of the fans tonight have come dressed as red seats #EngvDen

— Stephen Grant (@stephencgrant) March 5, 2014

Equally thrilling alternative to #EngvDen. pic.twitter.com/oVM2rxBkXh

— Mark Osmond (@markosmond2) March 5, 2014

So Denmark have got Sloth. Fair play to them. England on the other hand have avarice and gluttony but sadly no pride #EngvDen

— Robert Judd (@kedvesemraj) March 5, 2014

Put Cleverly on. Said nobody ever. #EngvDen

— Steven Anderton (@sanderton24) March 5, 2014

Where's Beckham? #EngVDen

— Squash Rumours (@SquashRumours) March 5, 2014

Good chance for Rooney to hit it over the bar here #EngvDen

— Andy Jack (@andyjack01) March 5, 2014

How many times will the commentators confuse Sturridge and Sterling before it gets racist?

— Ash Thompson (@AJT1892) March 5, 2014

Sadly, England fans have turned on each other. This game is frustrating but no need for this #kickitout #EngVDen pic.twitter.com/hbVa53OMOL

— Neil Robert Kingston (@TweetingKingo) March 5, 2014

This happened and it improved the #EngvDen game immensely pic.twitter.com/BzHuA3N6dF

— Andy Bennett (@BennettKaru) March 5, 2014

Any Danish speaking followers? Is the 'J' silent in Andreas Bjelland's name? Please say yes #EngvDen

— Lee Phelps (@leephelps) March 5, 2014

Ah. A Mexican Wave. This match just hit rock bottom. #EngvDen #England

— Chris (@C317G) March 5, 2014

Jordan Henderson just whacks it miles over from about 45 yards, then gobs on himself. Nice. #EngvDen

— Ian Rowbotham (@ianrowbo) March 5, 2014

Quite possibly the dullest match since… Well, the last one #EngvDen

— Matthew Cooper (@MattyCooper13) March 5, 2014

Summer flights to Brazil from most English airports now selling cheap on e-bay #EngvDen #bbcfootball

— Sam Gascoyne (@SamGascoyne2) March 5, 2014

ANOTHER 20 mins still..?? My life.. like grains of sand dripping away… #EngvDen

— PK (@khakipillowslip) March 5, 2014

A giraffe in a Danish zoo is more threatened than the Danish goal tonight. #EngDen #England #engvrsden #engvden

— ChelseaInSutton (@ChelseaInSutton) March 5, 2014

Roy off his seat with excitement at Wembley #EngvDen pic.twitter.com/mqrVmOFEgF

— Walkabout Bristol (@WalkaboutBS1) March 5, 2014

Not saying @LukeShaw3 is young, but the FIFA video game series is 2 years older than he is. released in 93. #PlayStationgeneration #EngvDen

— Stuart Rowson (@StuartRowson) March 5, 2014

Sol Cambell is on his way to wembley, Woy is gonna make him captain for the last 15 minutes #EngvDen

— Mr Mouse (@jasemouse) March 5, 2014

How poor is this game? The posh seats joined in with the Mexican wave, that's how poor this is. #EngvDen

— Crowie (@simoncrowe) March 5, 2014

The cream of English football, curdled by Roy Hodgson #EngvDen

— Nigel Moore (@ndlovuscores) March 5, 2014

Why Hodgson no play Cleverley? Game cry out for expert of sideway pass! #snoozefest #EngvDen

— C widge (@C_widge) March 5, 2014

A goal from a short corner????? What is this madness #ENGvDEN

— Danny Kelly (@BluenoseDanny) March 5, 2014

He did the dance. Instant red card. #EngvDen

— Adam Mills (@AdamMillsUK) March 5, 2014

Zzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzwha wha Yes! We're going to win the world cu zzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz #EngvDen

— Maxwell Watson (@ShrimperMax) March 5, 2014

#EngvDen 2 for 1 fake tan on Groupon I'll have some of that for the match me old mucka pic.twitter.com/yVYnDoxdGX

— Ron Ox (@mincheryfarmer) March 5, 2014

Raheem safe and sound. Or was that Sturridge getting subbed? #EngvDen

— Carraghercules (@ShawMcIver) March 5, 2014

This game surely can't get any worse. …………….hello James Milner. #EngvDen

— Mick Convey (@nalaknip) March 5, 2014

Well that's 90 minutes il never get back #Dull #EngvDen

— Carla Ward (@cwardy7) March 5, 2014

Christ that was tragic #EngvDen

— Dom Johnson (@DomWWFC1995) March 5, 2014

Sweet Lord that was terrible #EngvDen

— Jamie Tune (@JamieTune01) March 5, 2014

England are still 20/1 to win the World Cup. For those that don't understand betting, if you put £10 on, you lose £10. #EngvDen

— Dwayne Pipe (@NudgeAndNurdle) March 5, 2014

To who do I address my letter to the FA asking for the last 2 hours of my life back? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz #EngvDen

— Kenners (@RyanK792) March 5, 2014