Our tweets of the week take in such topics as another stultifying England performance, Giovanni Trapattoni breaking up with Republic of Ireland and the imminence of Cristiano Ronaldo underwear…
Sarcasm of the Week
Gary Lineker, Match of the Day
Good result for England….Brazil, Spain, Germany, Argentina et al, you're in big trouble! #Brazil2014
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) September 10, 2013
Domestic International Abuse of the Week
England, as observed by John Scales, ex-Liverpool, Tottenham Hotspur and Wimbledon
I feel so sorry for the ball tonight! Abused, miss-treated, beaten and unloved. Where was the tender loving care we all crave !!!!
— John Scales (@John_Scales) September 10, 2013
Rhyming Slang of the Week
Joey Barton, Queens Park Rangers
If anyone watched England tonight, Greg Dyke comments look spot on. Has he the town halls to implement them quickly. That is the question?
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) September 10, 2013
Prophesy of the Week
Gordon Watson, ex-Southampton
Someone get Rickie a KFC bucket,he has been fed jack all tonight,don't worry come sun he will feast #wham
— Gordon Watson (@Flash_37) September 10, 2013
“What Football’s All About” of the Week
Cristiano Ronaldo, Real Madrid
I’m launching my new underwear collection later this year! Can’t wait. http://t.co/FAL12SKxQR #CR7 #ronaldo #jbs http://t.co/lGyD676a9M
— Cristiano Ronaldo (@Cristiano) September 12, 2013
Music Fans of the Week
Arsenal midfielders
Just bought the new @ArcticMonkeys album, can't wait to give it a first listen
— Aaron Ramsey (@aaronramsey) September 9, 2013
Get @LethalBizzle's new single #PartyRight ! Out now on iTunes. Link > http://t.co/WxrweRDhzc…
— Jack Wilshere (@JackWilshere) September 9, 2013
and Ben Osborn, Nottingham Forest
“@JakeBugg: 2nd album done! Hope you're all well!” Don't sound too excited pal.
— Ben Osborn (@OsbornOn1) September 9, 2013
Trapattoni Tweet of the Week
Paddy Power
As Giovanni Trapattoni's reign as Ireland manager ends, we can reveal what a typical Trap tactic board looked like… pic.twitter.com/8x7xjfNDZJ
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) September 11, 2013
Mischief of the Week
Rodney Marsh, ex-Fulham, Manchester City and Queens Park Rangers
Congratulations Frank Lampard. Top player & professional & unlike David Beckham, earned everyone of his 100 caps
— Rodney Marsh (@RodneyMarsh10) September 9, 2013
Modesty of the Week
Norman Whiteside, ex-Everton and Manchester United
“@DangerousMoz: @NormanWhiteside what's the biggest animal you reckon you could beat up with your bare hands?” Yeti :)
— Norman Whiteside (@NormanWhiteside) September 9, 2013
and Darren Eadie, ex-Norwich City
“@HarryNCFC: @eadie11 what was it like playing against Ipswich? #askeadie” you mean winning not playing?
— Darren Eadie (@eadie11) September 11, 2013
Suspense of the Week
Kenwyne Jones, Stoke City
Life is
— Kenwyne j Jones (@KJ9nes) September 11, 2013
Time Well Spent of the Week
Jamie McGuire, Mansfield Town
Yessss found my name on coke bottle bin looking for ages #shareacokewithjamie #bigkid pic.twitter.com/RYkF0WZxGC
— jamie mcguire (@JAMIEMCGUIRE18) September 12, 2013
Illusion-Shatterer of the Week
Harry the Hornet, Watford mascot
First time I've used the heated seats in the car in ages #coldtoday
— OfficialHarryHornet (@1HHornet) September 9, 2013
But…but…don’t hornets fly?
Tune in on Monday for our Tweets of the Weekend!