Football Tweets of the Week: John Terry full kit, David Beckham retires and more!

David Beckham
Beckham… Beck for good? Something like that (Image: Kunal Shah)

John Terry Tweets of the Week

Peter Ramage, Crystal Palace

Seriously JT just doesn’t help himself! What a melt putting his kit on, just lift it in ur suit u douche.

— Peter Ramage (@peterramage83) May 15, 2013

Jordan Ball, Doncaster Rovers

John Terry must be going down as the ultimate full kit wanker

— Jordan Ball (@JordanBall1209) May 15, 2013

Stan Collymore, talkSPORT

I don’t mind the full kit,he’s ben involved during the season,but why shin pads?Hahaha.

— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) May 15, 2013

Alex Macdonald, Burton Albion (on loan from Burnley)

Boast of the Week

Dean Cox, Leyton Orient

My Half way line goal was better than becks

— dean cox (@dean_7cox) May 16, 2013

Judge for yourselves…

Rapid Aging of the Week

Marouane Fellaini, Everton

My new look ;-). Thanks for your support. Felly twitter.com/fellainiM/stat…

— Marouane Fellaini (@fellainiM) May 16, 2013

Mathematical Certainty of the Week

Next award goes to top goalscorer. I think there is only going to be one winner!

— Swansea City FC (@SwansOfficial) May 16, 2013

Rhyming Slang of the Week

Myles Storey, Swindon Town

Tattoo is at that sylvan ebanks flake stage #scabby

— Miles Storey (@m_storey32) May 14, 2013

and James Best

@m_storey32 that’s the worst when it gets all #ScabbyAgbonlahor

— James Best (@bestie81) May 14, 2013

Harris-ment of the Week

Ashley Harris, Portsmouth

These are the messages I get after I beat people on FIFA #harsh #haters #imtoogood twitter.com/AshleyHarris09…

— Ashley Harris (@AshleyHarris09) May 14, 2013

Too Late of the Week

Gabriel Zakuani, Peterborough United

How funny would it be if Moyes went City instead?

— Gabriel Zakuani (@Gabs50Zakuani) May 14, 2013

Wuh? of the Week

Paul Corry, Tranmere Rovers (on loan from Sheffield Wednesday)

Da bleeedin hack o sum de yung ones in dat place last nyt! scarlih for dem. sort yizzer lives out #dzzzzopppppeeeesssss

— Paul Corry (@paul_corry) May 14, 2013

Grand Slam of the Week

Myles Weston, Gillingham

Jacket potato,beans, cheese and tuna!!!

— Westy (@mylesweston) May 14, 2013

“You Don’t Know How Right You Are” of the Week

Guillem Balague, Revista de la Liga

I’m officially a coach now (and more badgets this summer). I can talk rubbish now with a coaching title twitter.com/GuillemBalague…

— Guillem Balague (@GuillemBalague) May 14, 2013

“Hey, He’s Actually Quite Funny! Oh No, He’s Ruined It” of the Week

David James, ex-England

“@georgegrlee: Another day the office today. But things are moving alot faster than before. #snowballeffect”Do you work on a train?

— David James (@jamosfoundation) May 14, 2013

@jamosfoundation hahahaha you’re always on the ball! (Pun intended)

— George Lee (@GeorgeGRLee) May 14, 2013

@georgegrlee ha! Ha! I like that!

— David James (@jamosfoundation) May 14, 2013

Diplomacy of the Week

Jason McAteer, ex-Liverpool and Republic of Ireland

The southport job is very attractive an Charlie Clapham is a fantastic man but unfortunately it’s not for me at the min. @liverpool_nolan

— Jason MCATEER (@MCATEER4) May 14, 2013

Reply of the Week

Sandra Wood

@mcateer4 @liverpool_nolan Going for the #ManCity job then Jason?

— Sandra Wood (@keaneswoody81) May 14, 2013

Botched Poser of the Week

Micky Quinn, talkSPORT

Brendan Rodgers said 3 people would let him down this season,and he put there names in an envelope,which one player let you down at yourclub

— mick quinn (@mickquinn1089) May 14, 2013

Jermaine PedantJermaine Pedant says… Your spelling let me down.

Tweets: they’re no use if there are homophonic confusions within their texts.

Wigan/Eurovision Tweet of the Week

Max Rushden, Soccer AM

Gutted for Wigan but this Serbian Eurovision entry has made everything ok #wigan #eurovision

— Max Rushden (@maxrushden) May 14, 2013

Presumably Not Literally of the Week

Jordan Willis, Coventry City

Just here cutting shapes in my slippers

— Jordan Willis (@JordanWillis94) May 14, 2013

Typing in Goalie Gloves of the Week

Jason Brown, Ipswich Town

Tweeps dose anyone know if you design anything and people place orders do they manufactur and sale? If so wbo gets the dough? #apprentice

— Jason Brown(@greathover32) May 15, 2013

Lad of the Week

Marvin Barley, Burnley

Going to eat my strawberries and watch question time! #ImTheCoolestManYouKnow

— Marvin Bartley (@dothebartman1) May 16, 2013

“I’m Sure He’ll Live With That of the Week”

Mike Parry, ex-talkSPORT

Say what you like about Beckham but: Great footballer, Gt Eng captain, Gt ambassador, Gt father, Gt role model, Gt guy, but – poor drinker

— Mike Parry (@mikeparry8) May 16, 2013

Tune in on Monday for our Tweets of the Weekend!