Hull City Tigers owner Assem Allam changes name to “Egyptian Twonk”

Fake News » Hull City Tigers owner Assem Allam changes name to “Egyptian Twonk”

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Assem Allam
Egyptian Twonk… Full of good ideas (Image: domfell)

In a controversial move, Hull City Tigers owner Assem Allam has announced that he will be renamed “Egyptian Twonk”.

The “Assem Allam” part of the Yorkshire-based businessman’s name, which has been in effect since his formation in 1940, will be scrapped.

Any references to Assem Allam on official club communications will be phased out, but will remain engraved on the door to his office during Hull City Tigers’ first season back in the Premier League.

Allam wants to market himself as Daft Old Egyptian Twonk locally, and Egyptian Twonk to national and international audiences.

He told Football Burp: “In the commercial world, the shorter the name, the better. The more it can spread quickly – yes, just like a virus.

“My dislike for the word ‘Allam’ is because it is common. For instance, my son, Ehab, is also called Allam. I want to be special.

“I have always used straight-to-the-point names in business. It gives you power in the science in marketing. The straighter to the point, the more powerful the message. In Egyptian Twonk, I have a really strong brand.”

Egyptian Twonk’s son and vice-chairman Ehab Allam defended his father’s decision to drop Assem Allam from his name after 73 years.

He said: “Allam is redundant, it is not used by either my father or myself when addressing each other. The fans never mention Allam, at least not since we changed the club’s name to Hull City Tigers.

“Now they just say Egyptian Twonk.”

Hull City Tigers issued a statement to clarify the situation. It read: “As has always been the case, supporters remain free to refer to the club’s owner as they wish, whether that be Egyptian Twonk, Plonker, Old Duffer, Twazzock, or indeed any other variant of his name.

“For many, he will continue to be known as Assem Allam, as he has been from his inception.

“A new engraving for his office door, to be used from the 2014-15 season, will be designed and created in consultation with fans – or mugs, as we shall now be referring to them – over the coming months.”

Bernard Noble of the Hull City Tigers Official Supporters’ Club admitted he had mixed feelings about Allam’s decision.

He said: “My personal opinion is I’m disappointed because I’m a bit of a traditionalist.

“But this guy saved us from liquidation and administration, and it’s his club. I will still say ‘what’s Allam done now?’, ‘the East Riding-based businessman did what?’, ‘I can’t believe the industrial generator manufacturer did that’.

“I will still say that and so will many more of my fellow mugs.”

He continued: “As far as Egyptian Twonk is concerned, the mugs – the 25,000 people who will be there for the first home game against Norwich City – they’ll say ‘I’m going to give Assem Allam a piece of my mind, and maybe the whole of my half time pie in his stupid Egyptian face’.

“What? No, it wasn’t racist at all. I’m not implying that all Egyptians have stupid faces or are twonks. I’m not even saying Assem Allam is definitely a stupid-faced twonk. I’m just frustrated.”

“In any case, ‘Egyptian’ isn’t a race. It would be xenophobic, not racist.

“That’s not as bad, right?”

Managing director Nick Thompson urged mugs “to judge it in the fullness of time”.

He said: “Judge it in the fullness of time.”

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