Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez has been handed a six-month driving ban for not responding to police-issued letters about speeding.

The Argentine star was caught driving at 38mph in a 30mph zone in Stretford but claims not to have realised that the letters constituted a penalty notice because he didn’t recognise the word ‘constabulary’.

He admitted two offences of failing to give police information at Manchester Magistrates’ Court and was also ordered to pay fines and costs of £1,540, which he may or may not have whipped out of his wallet on the spot à la Mr Burns before saying, “Oh, and I’ll take that statue of justice too.”

Anyone else think The Carlos Tevez Driving Ban would make a good name for a prog-rock band?