You Have Farty Pants That Smell All Like Poo, Drogba Warns Benfica

Benfica boss Jorge Jesus didn't like it when Chelsea striker Didier Drogba labelled him a "silly willy".
Jesus... Not to be f**ked with (Img: Alface)

Didier Drogba thinks Benfica have farty parts, and what’s more he is prepared to say it to their face.

In the wake of the Portuguese side getting all uppity after footage emerged of the Chelsea forward appearing to mock them while watching the two clubs get drawn together in the Champions League, the Ivorian, a Pisces, told pals that Jorge Jesus’s men could go suck it, labelling them “smelly poo-poo heads” who should “just shut up or I’ll do a wee in their Lucozade.”

The offending footage has sadly been edited down from its original form in which, reacting to Chelsea getting paired with Benfica, Drogba exclaimed “zoiks!” and lept into Frank Lampard’s arms, but from what is circulating on YouTube it would still seem that the Ivorian, Drogba, is indeed laughing in their stupid faces. Judge for yourselves…

When pressed for comment, Benfica boss Jesus said: “All together now…”