People in need of a ruddy good laugh have demanded to know what exactly a Fifa integrity check entails.
The human beings, glum, were initially attracted to news of Musa Bility’s disqualification from running for Fifa presidency on account of his utterly fabulous name.
Once it had become apparent that Bility was ruled out after failing an integrity check, two main questions arose: 1) What exactly does a Fifa integrity check entail? and 2) What kind of monster must Bility be if he’d managed not to pass one?
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, someone in need of a good laugh urged Fifa to reveal the details of its integrity checks so that he could chuckle his way to satisfaction.
He said: “Once I got tired of laughing at the name Tokyo Sexwale, life just seemed so empty.
“Then I heard about this Liberian guy getting disqualified after failing an integrity check, and I thought to myself, ‘Really, Fifa?’
“I mean, there’s lack of self-awareness, and then there’s Fifa, am I right?”
He added: “That Musa Bility failed to make a list that includes known human rights abuser Sheikh Salman bin Ebrahim al-Khalifa just begs the question: what the hell did he do?
“He must have literally destroyed a whole planet.”