West Ham United have been suspended for three games following their collective sending off in the 3-4 defeat to Bournemouth at the Boleyn Ground.

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The reigning Fair Play champions will now have to sit and watch from the stands as players from Liverpool, Newcastle and Man City take it in turns to boot the ball into their glaringly empty net.

Manager Slaven Bilić was no stranger to disciplinary action during his playing days, on one occasion receiving his marching orders for setting fire to his electric guitar in the centre circle while play was still ongoing.

But even he will have been shocked to see the entire club shown the red card for a professional foul on Cherries winger Max Gradel.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Bilić remained philosophical.

He said: “We’ll do a lot of work off the training ground to see how we can possibly counter our next three opponents without any of our players on the pitch.

“But ultimately we have to accept that we’ll most likely be at the mercy of the opposition’s shot accuracy.

“If Liverpool start with Mario Balotelli then I’m confident, but they probably won’t so this attempted zinger is somewhat redundant.”