What’s all this then? West Ham fans boo Allardyce and all hell breaks loose.

Or, rather, all Hull – that’s who the Hammers were playing when the Boleyn Ground faithful, dismayed by the dismal fare served up, began furiously heckling a manager who just a few weeks ago was celebrating four consecutive Kevin Nolan performances.

As it gradually dawned on the Upton Park crowd that their verbal bombardment was failing to remedy the situation, they extended it to include the players being run so ragged by the opposition’s ten men.

The second half kicked off to rumblings of discontent concerning the quality, or indeed lack of it, of the evening’s pies – not nearly enough mash, for starters – before everyone agreed, you know what, f*** it, let’s boo life as well.

Sam Allardyce is our manager, we’re being outplayed at home to ten-man Hull City, the pies are s**t and it’s bloody freezing and all. Boo, life! Boo!

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Allardyce remained philosophical.

He said: “I’m sorry, did we just lose a game?

“Oh no, look – we f***ing won! Well how about that, then?

“I’m going to be here keeping you ****s in mid-table until you move into the Olympic Stadium, so you better suck it up and get used to it.

“Save it for my eventual successor, a glamorous ex-player who takes you down with the collection of aging, one-dimensional plodders on massive wages that I manage to bludgeon five to ten extra points out of a season.

“Give Blackburn and Bolton my regards, ****heads.”

Phil Brown was also available for comment but we declined to speak to him.

HAVE YOUR SAY: Should West Ham fans boo Allardyce? Or, for that matter, pies/life?