It’s the West Ham clean sheets record that’s been getting us all aquiver – and now it’s the maddest thing ever, according to new research.
A string of shut-outs has seen the Hammers rise from 20th to 10th in just four matches, smashing all known records for doing roughly that sort of thing.
Scientists asked everyone except you if they could think of anything madder than West Ham going from bottom to in the top half in just four games at this stage in the season, and no one could think of anything.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, your mate Dave explained that they’ve found a rain cloud in space that’s 100,000 times larger than the sun, making it the largest body of water in the known universe – but that’s still not madder than the West Ham clean sheets thing.
He enthused: “There’s a planet made of diamond, I’m telling you, and there’s a type of jellyfish that’s immortal.
“Chickens can see more colours than us, I’m not even joking. Look it up for yourself.
“None of that’s stuff anywhere near as mad as West Ham being tenth all of a sudden.”
He continued: “I can’t verify this, but I’ve been told that the CIA have been experimenting with sniffer poltergeists to counter terrorism and drug trafficking.
“Rumbled by a ghost. Can you imagine?”
In other news, the Premier League has confirmed that Sam Allardyce will get to keep 10th place if he manages to finish there yet again.