Arsène Wenger has responded angrily to his Arsenal side’s 0-1 defeat to Swansea City last night, gesticulating wildly towards opposite number Garry Monk and questioning his tactics.
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The Swansea tactics, cautious, brought home the ‘Premier League points’ bacon when Bafétimbi Gomis’s late header crept over the line amidst a flurry of hilarity and despairing eye-rolling.
Although Wenger’s Gunners are generally foiled by such strategies at least a couple of times a season, that didn’t stop the Frenchman from throwing his arms up in the air – Gallicly, at that – and roaring “what the f*** was that s***, Garry?”.
Taking a moment out from combing his hair in the mirror and uttering “lookin’ sharp, Gaz”, Monk fixed Wenger’s gaze before slowly raising his middle finger with a grin.
He said: “And what, Arsène? Kessker too fay, eh? I mean, wharrayou gonna do about it?
“You’ve got a team stuffed with £35m players, you belter. We’ve got Jack Cork. So shut your croissant hole.”
That really stuck in Wenger’s craw.
Speaking exclusively to our bitter Stateside rivals Soccer Belch, Wenger admitted he was still in the process of formulating an official response.
He said: “I think I’m going to go with ‘jerk store’, but I’m not going to rush it.”