Danny Welbeck misses many things – shots on goal, his family back in Manchester, the occasional episode of Coronation Street – but an aeroplane?
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News is reaching Football Burp that the Arsenal forward missed his flight home from Dortmund last night after his passport was misplaced by team mate Mikel Arteta.
Welbeck had entrusted the Spaniard with holding his official documentation while he nipped off for a wee, which missed the urinal completely and left a dank, upside-down bagpipe print on the wall behind.
In the meantime, Arteta attempted to hand Welbeck’s passport to rookie defender Héctor Bellerín and got it badly wrong, flinging it out of a nearby window and directly into the path of a landing plane.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Arteta tried to pass the buck and made a right hash of it.
He said: “It wasn’t me who lost Danny’s passport, it was…er…ah, nuts.
“Heh, you know, this whole thing wouldn’t have happened if the gaffer had just gone out and signed the kind of player who can grab a passport by the scruff of the neck and make it his own.
“And Danny should never have passed up the multiple opportunities he had to tuck his passport away in his pocket.
“At the end of the day, if you don’t take your own passport at this level – you know, ground level – you’ll get punished.
“Like Alan Smith kept saying in the commentary, it just wasn’t clinical enough.”
Andy Townsend has refused to comment on speculation that Arsenal were just lacking that little bit of quality in the final third.
Join us for more cheapo chuckles the next time Danny Welbeck misses something!