Walcott to pay for surgery by money raised from trolling Spurs fans

Hopes that constant pestering will raise more than £2.37 hurled at him during north London derby.

Theo Walcott
Walcott… Trollcot, more like (Image: Ronnie Macdonald)

Arsenal sprinter Theo Walcott has vowed to pay for his own knee surgery by spending the rest of this season bothering fans of north London rivals Tottenham Hotspur.

The former England international, probably still only about 20, will begin his campaign by standing outside White Hart Lane selling replica shirts bearing the names of erstwhile Spurs flops.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Walcott hoped that his constant pestering would raise significantly greater sums than the £2.37 hurled at him during the weekend’s north London derby.

He said: “I don’t expect my Jason Dozzell and Sergei Rebrov jerseys to go down all that well, so that’s a potential money-spinner.

“After that I’ve got plans to fly a plane over Spurs’ every home match leaving a vapour trail that spells ‘won league here, 2004’.

“They won’t like that, not one bit.”

He continued: “Obviously I won’t be piloting the plane myself as I’ll need to gather up the monies thrown.

“I’ll be disguised as a steward, and when the plane passes overhead I’ll point towards the sky and say something like, ‘Look, everyone – is it a bird? Is it a Superman?

“No, it’s a plane, and I think it’s trying to tell us something!

“The best part about it is that I’ll easily be able to outrun them, even on one leg.

“While writing a children’s book.”

Theo Walcott’s new book Leo Outruns the Cockerels will be released on January 27th through Bloomsbury Publishing.