A deplorable Roy Hodgson joke made at half time of England’s 2-0 win over Poland on Tuesday night was brought out into the open by heroic Daily Mirror hack Oliver Holt.
The Hodgson joke, all kinds of racist, was brought to Holt’s attention by a trusted mole within the Three Lions camp, reported to be Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge by people who appeared to be just guessing.
In a move that has won him widespread acclaim, gratitude and marriage proposals, Holt – who once went into a hairdressers and asked for “a Beckham” – published the shocking wisecrack that left everyone within an eighty-mile radius in no doubt that they had just been insulted.
Those of a nervous disposition might want to look away now, for we are to reproduce the Roy Hodgson joke for you:
Q. “Why did the space monkey cross the road?”
A. “So he could pass the f***ing ball to Andros Townsend, you c***s.”
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Daily Mirror editor Lloyd Embley stated how delighted and proud he was that Holt had brought this vicious attack to everyone’s attention.
He said: “These sorts of situations need to be dealt with, otherwise we’d be living in the Dark Ages.
“Trust me, you wouldn’t want to be living in the Dark Ages – there’d be no Mirror Online, let alone one that was getting millions and millions – and millions – of hits.
“And no social networks for our writers to spend all day on posting words to the effect of ‘What? What did I do?’
“Whatever you may think of Ollie Holt, I’m giving him a raise so f*** the lot of you.”
Holt was unavailable for comment as he was busy having his nipples twisted and enjoying it.