Van Gaal ass twitch inspires spate of irksome novelty singles

"We've hit the jackpot this time," opine opportunistic amateur songwriters.

Do the Louis van Gaal ass twitch! It’s an instruction you may soon be hearing a lot more of if any opportunistic amateur songwriters out there have their way.

The Manchester United manager, entertaining, was trying to describe how fraught with nerves he has been watching some of his side’s performances in a 4-4-2 formation when he coined the delightful phrase, reminiscent of course of Sir Alex Ferguson’s renowned “squeaky bum time”.

Unsuccessful songwriters up and down the country have embraced the motion to their collective bosom, penning a variety of thoroughly cringe-worthy songs imploring you to “do the van Gaal ass twitch” as one might “do the Bartman” or “do the Harlem Shake”.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the writers and performers of all these van Gaal ass twitch songs confirmed that they were currently writing up press releases with a view to filling up Football Burp’s email account with their unwanted dirges.

They chorused: “We’ve even come up with a dance routine for the eventual video – this is gonna be big, I tells ya.

“Okay, last week’s song about Andy Townsend leaving ITV might not have been to your tastes, but we’ve definitely got a hit on our hands with this one.

“We plan to follow it up with a Groove Armada cover that goes ‘I see you, Louis…twitchin’ that ass! Twitchin’ that ass!’

“Soon the world will know of our genius.”