People who decide these sorts of things have announced that ‘top, top’ shall henceforth be viewed as a valid adjective in assessing the ability of an individual or institution.
The level, one up from ‘top’, qualified for official status last night when it was uttered live on TV for the hundred thousandth time, by Gordon Strachan during ITV’s post match analysis of Tottenham Hotspur’s 1-3 Europa League defeat to Benfica at White Hart Lane.
Taking time out from managing Scotland to speak exclusively to Football Burp, Strachan indicated that he would like to thank his wife and kids, and his agent, and the good people at the catering company he used to service his son’s wedding and who gave him a discounted rate because they were big fans of his 2002-03 Southampton side.
That was when they reached the FA Cup final and James Beattie ended the season as highest-scoring Englishman. Imagine.
Anyway, Strachan said: “I’d like to thank my wife and kids, my agent, the lads at the golf club and the downright decent folk at the dry cleaners who always do such a top, top job unweaving the hairs I get stuck in my kilt.
“Honestly, they’re nigh-on impossible to discern to the naked eye, so that really is a top, top job they do.
“I’m not sure whether it’s my own hair or the cat’s. Probably a bit of both, to be fair.
“Now get the f*** off my land or I’ll chin you, ya ****.”
Harry Redknapp was unavailable for comment as he was still busy saying “top” to a rival publication.
The editor of Soccer Belch said: “It’s crazy, he won’t shut up.
“Look at him, still leaning out of his car window and saying the word ‘top’ to me over and over again. When’s he going to stop?
“There’s traffic forming behind him. People are beeping their horns, for crying out loud.
“When’s he going to get to the point? I haven’t got all day. Mind taking over from here?”
Redknapp told Football Burp: “Top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top…”
This went on for some time and ended up being a reference to Niko Kranjčar.