Prime Minister Theresa May has confirmed that international breaks will still be a thing even after Brexit, leaving millions to regret their vote.
According to a new survey, the Government had drastically underestimated the numbers of people who cast their leave vote in the belief that doing so would mean uninterrupted Premier League togger.
With Article 50 set to be triggered tomorrow, initiating formal Brexit negotiations, May has moved to clarify the matter – leading to accusations that she had been wilfully misleading the public.
She said: “Of course there’s still going to be international football, you dipsticks.
“In between this and the ‘350m a week to the NHS’ thing, I reckon I could have promised you all a solid gold dragon to protect your home and you’d all have swallowed it.
“Basically, life post-Brexit will be a bit like it is now but even worse.
“There will still be qualifying groups, still be biennial-at-best major tournament humiliations, still be all sorts of frightful garbage to watch, listen to or gorge yourselves stupid on.
“What there won’t be any more is your job, so, you know, best start making provisions for that.”