Supplies of Moyes jokes nearly exhausted, warn scientists

Satirical football websites "totally snookered" by sacking.

Earth is at the centre of a Moyes jokes crisis
Earth… Facing up to Moyes jokes crisis

Scientists have warned that planet Earth’s natural supplies of David Moyes jokes are nearly exhausted, leaving dozens of satirical football websites fearing for their futures.

The revelation, ominous, holds potentially dire consequences for the likes of Football Burp, Soccer Belch and Togger Eructation, findings have found – in a way that only really findings can find.

Moyes was this week sacked as manager of Manchester United, eliciting a vast overflow of Moyes jokes that briefly threatened to engulf the world in an orgiastic frenzy of chuckles, chortles, sniggers and titters.

Now the wells have run dry, resources are depleted, and the future looks bleak for spoofers of the beautiful game.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, one scientist explained how we were totally snookered by the situation.

She said: “You’re totally snookered.

“I mean, without David Moyes jokes, what have you got? Nothing, that’s what.

“Apart from about forty thousand articles about that Chelsea physio who’s kind of hot.

“Come on then, let’s see what else you’ve got, Football Burp.”

Er…see below.


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