A recent spate of Christian Eriksen late winners can be explained by the Tottenham Hotspur star’s wearing of an enchanted jockstrap formerly owned by Gareth Bale, scientists have announced.
The Dane, Danish, has been dragging Spurs to last-gasp victories of late in a manner eerily reminiscent of Madrid’s current most celebrated Welshman.
Last night’s crucial late equaliser against Sheffield United set up a Wembley date with Chelsea, while Eriksen has struck a winner in the last twenty minutes of matches on no less than four occasions in the Premier League this season.
And he owes it all to an enchanted jockstrap – the lucky undergarment, elastic, had been worn by Bale during all of his finest moments in a Tottenham jersey and was found by a charismatic dog down the back of a water cooler in the home dressing room at White Hart Lane.
Despite having initially been commandeered for use by Harry Kane, it now appears that the enchanted jockstrap is behind the current wave of Eriksen late winners that’s had everyone a-mutterin’.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the scientists revealed their supposed findings to have been a joke at our expense all along.
They chorused: “Enchanted jockstrap? Are you soft in the head?
“We’re not even scientists. I’m a postman and Dave runs a chain of hardware stores.
Christian Eriksen was unavailable for comment.