Sir Alex Ferguson fined as FA toughen up to win back Mrs FA

Balls… The FA have acquired balls (Img: Soulkeeper)

Well stone the crows cor blimey love-a-duck, it seems that the FA have actually fined Sir Alex Ferguson for something, according to reports reported by reporters.

The Manchester United overlord, a Capricorn, once again brought the game into disrepute – whatever that is – by claiming that referee Simon Beck was bound to give the Red Devils nothing – rien, nada, butkus – when they travelled to Tottenham Hotspur the other week.

Where previously the FA have been all like “yeah, just let the guy say what he likes, I heard he has a trap door in his office like Mr Burns”, this time they feel sufficiently emboldened to stand up to the big, bad septuagenarian and his tyrannical ways.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, an FA spokesperson made it perfectly clear that the wet willies and nipple twists end here, while any attempt to administer wedgies on visiting delegates will be met with the severest of karate chops.

He/she said: “We’ve been taking classes, you know. Every Tuesday.

“We really hit rock bottom when Mrs FA [an anthropomorphic representation of the FA with a pink bow in its hair] requested a divorce as we lay there reeling and weeping after Sir Alex had responded to our warning about ranting at linesmen by gripping our arm and striking us with it while saying ‘stop hitting yourself’ over and over.

“We’ve had enough and we want the world to know it. Reprogramming Howard Webb was but phase 1 of the operation – now we really mean business, so we turned up at his door and fined him whatever he had to hand at the time.

“We intend to take this three hundred quid and half-empty glass of Laphroaig and reinvest it at grass roots level.”

Sir Alex Ferguson fined? Whatever next? Have your say in the comments section below…er, about what you think might happen next, that is…