Shock as ‘£25m’ and ‘Jonny Evans’ spotted in same sentence

Concerned family and friends trying to make contact with Tony Pulis.

Jonny Evans has been rated at £25m by Tony Pulis
GOOD: Evans (Image: Benny Glowinsky)

Shock and confusion set in across the nation as ‘£25m’ and ‘Jonny Evans’ were spotted in the same sentence.

The figure and name were thought to be so incompatible as to not even being entertained – until now.

Fans this morning woke to find themselves living in a dystopian future where someone rates Jonny Evans at £25m.

That someone is West Brom manager Tony Pulis, with whom worried family and friends have failed to make contact at the time of writing.

Concern grew for Pulis as he spent the last fifteen years barking out instructions to an imaginary rowing team.

But this latest development has led to outbreaks of confused screaming nationwide.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Arsène Wenger remained philosophical.

He said: “£25m for Jonny Evans? What next, £26m for Craig Dawson?

“£27m for Gareth McAuley? £28m for Jonas Olsson?

“I’m sorry, I’ve never been very funny, but I trust you get my point.”