Serious Fraud Office “can’t take Fifa corruption seriously”

"If you can't laugh at an FBI pirate Santa then what is it all for?" says SFO spokesperson.

Chuck Blazer, who may have recorded evidence of Fifa corruption

The Serious Fraud Office have confirmed that they are unable to take Fifa corruption with any degree of seriousness due to their enjoyment of Chuck Blazer.

Formerly an executive of football’s world governing body, Blazer recorded conversations with officials at the London 2012 Olympics using a modified keyring containing a tiny microphone.

The microphone, tiny, had been attached to Blazer by the FBI in exchange for agreeing to look the other way on a spot of tax fraud, a bit like a Sopranos plot line but with more football.

Although the conversations recorded have been described as “quite blatantly falling under the jurisdiction of the Serious Fraud Office”, the SFO – as they’re known to their friends – just can’t stop whooping and hollering at that picture above of Blazer hanging out with a parrot.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a spokesperson for the SFO pointed out that they couldn’t possibly be expected not to laugh really quite uproariously when presented with a photo like that.

He said: “Chuck Blazer is a fantastic name, so it’s already kinda funny before we’ve even found out that he looks like a pirate Santa Claus.

“Fifa corruption may be rampant, lumbering us with World Cups in Russia and Qatar that no one in their right mind would have wanted unless they stood to make money from it, but you’ve got to permit yourself a chuckle when confronted with an FBI-wired pirate Santa called Chuck Blazer.

“If you can’t laugh at that then what is it all for, really?”