Sepp Blatter has been Simpsons bad guy Mr Burns all along, it has been revealed in a dramatic unmasking by meddling kids.
PLUS! MORE FIFA FRAUDULENCE:
- Fifa corruption report “comically misleading”, no one shocked
- Serious Fraud Office “can’t take Fifa corruption seriously”
The Fifa president, hitherto unchallenged, was on his way to meet a delegation of concerned Russians when he was intercepted by the kids, who according to eyewitness accounts were driving a brightly coloured van emblazoned with the official emblem of the English FA.
A swift tug of Blatter’s leathery visage unveiled three liver spots and a nose like a pelican’s beak, at which the unmasked man shuddered disapprovingly before remarking that he’d have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for his assailants.
The revelation comes hot on the heels of Fifa’s comical attempts to pervert a report into World Cup corruption, such a brazen show of Machiavellianism that suspicions were aroused as to Blatter’s true identity.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Mr Burns remained philosophical.
He grimaced: “D’oh well, I suppose the cat’s out the bag now.
“I had an eeeexcellent run as Fifa president Sepp Blatter, and now it’s time to return to my ominous mansion, my many hounds and my obsequious butler.
“Toodle oo, everyone.”
Comic Book Store Guy was unavailable for comment.