“See, told you we respond to criticism” blasts purple Wayne

Victoriously apoplectic England captain labels Football Burp "a pack of quilts".

Wayne Rooney
ROONEY: Vindicated (Image: Football.ua)

Wayne Rooney has hit back in astonishing fashion at Football Burp, claiming last night’s 2-0 Euro 2016 qualifying win in Switzerland as “one in the eye for two-bit spoof football websites everywhere”.


Only yesterday we spoofed England in astonishing fashion when we posted some drivel or other about them being not particularly good, downright woeful even.

However, our playful attempt at lampooning the state of the national team backfired in astonishing fashion when they only went and won their hardest-looking fixture in the group.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Rooney turned purple with apoplexy as he spelled out – in astonishing fashion, it has to be said – just how wrong we were.

He said: “You lot, Soccer Belch, Togger Eructation – your boys took one hell of a beating!

“And by boys, I mean of course all your snide words in the build-up to the game. Those are your boys, those are.

“I don’t know – I get paid to be boss at footy, not to come up with situation-specific taunts aimed at two-bit spoof football websites in the aftermath of victorious Euros qualifiers.

“Tell you what, you come up with something wittier to make me say in this piece, and I’ll forget about how badly you embarrassed yourself in the previous piece.

“You f***in’ quilts.”