Second team set to replace Torres with Suárez, confirms Cech

Petr Cech
Čech… Book (Img: John Dobbo)
A second successive Premier League club is set to replace Fernando Torres with Luis Suárez, Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Čech has confirmed.

Čech, Czech, has hailed the in-form Liverpool pantomime villain for staying on his feet when he could have gone down late on in Sunday’s 1-1 draw between the two teams at Stamford Bridge.

Suarez nodded in Jamie Carragher’s looping second-half header to level matters before going off to celebrate alone, only realising that his teammates had not followed him when he turned to receive their applause after his fifth celebratory lap of the pitch.

Čech said: “I asked him at the end of the match why his teammates had ignored him – he said that it was probably because he expressed his desire to sign for Chelsea at half-time.

“Literally sign for us there and then, come out for the second half in a blue shirt. He also said that he may have accidentally been racist to a few of them, but he wasn’t sure.”

He continued: “I for one will welcome Luis with open arms.

“Here at Chelsea, we have a saying: ‘We don’t care how much of a **** you are, as long as you win us the Premier League and/or Champions League.’

“Roman thought of it himself. Trust me, it sounds a lot more mellifluous in Russian.”