Alexis Sánchez is an injury doubt for Arsenal’s trip to Watford this weekend after falling over a turtle that a Peruvian shaman had tried cursing him with.
The Chilean had made a mockery of the attempted jinx, scoring twice and setting up another in his side’s 4-3 World Cup qualifying win in Lima.
But he spannered it all up by rupturing an Achilles cheese string on the shelled reptile during an ill-mapped-out post-match victory lap.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Peruvian shaman remained philosophical.
He said: “The turtle curse was supposed to combat Sánchez’s speed in last night’s match, so the events that panned out aren’t quite what I had in mind.
“But it does go to show that there’s something to this shamanism lark after all, even if it does require a spot of fine-tuning from time to time.
“Stupid turtle, I knew I shouldn’t have left it lying out around the perimeter of the pitch.
“Watford owe me for this.”