Roy Keane knocks out opponent while filming ‘safety of chess’ video

Public service campaign goes badly wrong.

Roy Keane fronted a safety of chess video
KERBLAMMO: Keane (Image: Irish Defence Forces)

Roy Keane has sensationally knocked out his opponent midway through filming an informative video short about the safety of chess.

The former Man Utd and Republic of Ireland nutter drew criticism for his statement that footballers worrying about concussion should stick to the strategic board game.

In an unexpected twist, he promptly commissioned a public service broadcast and chose to front the campaign himself.

He said: “Hello everyone, I’m Roy Keane and I’m here to demonstrate to you the safety of chess.

“As you can see, there’s very little that can go wrong from a health and safety point of view. Just two lads at a board.

“This is my opponent, Eoin. What happens now is that one of us has to make the opening move. Your pawn can move two whole squares at this point.

“Now, if like me you thought a pawn was what those posh eejits in the VIP boxes have in their sandwiches, then…HEY!

“What the hell d’you think you’re playing at, Eoin? Who said you could go first? I don’t recall agreeing to that.

“Never mind a pawn sandwich, eat my knuckle sandwich, you scutterin’ gobsheen!

“How’s that for a first move, ya bollix?”

He added: “Eoin? Hello? Hmm, this undermines the message of the video somewhat.

“Let me see if I can punch him awake.”