It’s the Rickie Lambert Liverpool move that’s got a nation jiving as one, and it requires absolutely no embellishment whatsoever from two-bit spoof football websites such as this one.

That’s the opinion of former Coventry City and Liverpool defender Phil Babb, whose presence in this article is no less ridiculous than news currently breaking of the Rickie Lambert Liverpool signing that’s got folks a-crowin’.

According to Babb, the Southampton and England forward’s dream/shock (delete as applic.) transfer to his beloved boyhood Reds should not even merit mention on a two-bit spoof football website such as this one on account of its “unembellishability”.

He roared: “Yes, I am aware that by speaking to you I have now ensured that the Rickie Lambert Liverpool move has indeed been mentioned on a two-bit football website such as this one.

“Now I think about it, this whole thing is just an excuse to show that clip of me sliding balls-first into the post, isn’t it?

“Oh look, there it is for the millionth squillionth time. Umpteenth, even.

“I also played for Republic of Ireland, you know. Thirty-five times. You could have mentioned that.

“Typical no-good, slothenly two-bit spoof football website toilet seat journalism, if you ask me.”

And we hadn’t.