Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has offered to settle up Harry Redknapp’s outstanding tax bill with HM Revenue & Customs, in what is already being described as a “shock twist”.
The Tottenham Hotspur manager was at Southwark Crown Court today faced with charges of cheating the public revenue, a hearing that according to Football Burp sources was interrupted by a voice booming over a PA system: “This is Mario Man – do not be afraid!”
According to eyewitness accounts, a Bentley then crashed through the wall of the courtroom, leaving a pile of rubble from which Balotelli, a Leo, emerged after a few moments of stunned silence wearing a Manchester City tracksuit and brandishing a wad of fifty pound notes.
One onlooker, who wished not to be named, said: “I couldn’t believe it – crash, bang, wallop, and all of a sudden there’s Balotelli strutting around the courtroom as if he owned the place.
“I looked over at Dad and he was looking pretty nervous. He’d just done an interview condemning the Italian for stamping on Scotty Parker’s head, and he probably thought – as did we all – that the £25m forward was here to exact his revenge in some crazy way.
“Turns out there was nothing to worry about, ‘cause Balotelli just whips out a bundle of cash and says, ‘If anyone else has an outstanding tax bill, I’ll pay it off!’ Then he took everyone out for frozen yoghurt. I still can’t quite believe it.
“One minute he’s scoring a last-minute penalty past Brad Friedel to keep City top of the Barclays Premier League on what I’m sure everyone will agree was another magnificent Ford Super Sunday, and now this. He’s just mad, isn’t he? But I don’t think Dad will be able to stay mad at him after this!
“Can you put ‘he quipped’ after that last bit? Just put me down as ‘Anonymous’. Ta.”
A spokesperson for Southwark Crown Court said: “I’m pretty sure we don’t have a PA system in place at the moment, so that’s the first thing that needs explaining.”
Meanwhile, the giant rooster has failed a late relevance test and will not feature in this article.