Qatar World Cup corruption still news to some

Rooney warned of "tomatofication" risk as farce rumbles on tediously.

Qatar World Cup corruption godfather Sepp Blatter
Blatter… Psychic (Image: Marcello Casal Jr./ABr)

It’s the Qatar World Cup corruption that’s thrown the whole bleedin’ thing into doubt, and documents obtained by the Sunday Times appear to prove that it’s still news to some.

The 2022 tournament, ludicrous, was unmasked as deceitful and ill-gotten when “disgraced Qatari football official” Mohamed Bin Hammam was seen handing Sepp Blatter a big comedy sack of money with a dollar sign woven into it in goldwork embroidery shortly after the announcement of the award.

Further questions were raised when some kind of science guy pointed out that such are the temperatures in Qatar during the summer that anyone not born there is “ninety per cent certain” to burst into flames the moment they set foot off the plane.

Wayne Rooney in particular was warned that he faced “a strong risk of tomatofication” if he made the trip, that’s if he’s still even remotely bothered come 2022.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Bin Hammam offered us “three and a half million pounds” to shut the hell up.

He said: “Oh for crying out loud don’t put that I offered you a bribe.

“Heh. You know, they say all publicity is good publicity, but ‘disgraced’ is never a good adjective to have routinely affixed to your name in the press.

“Most of them just take the bribe and shut the hell up. Why couldn’t you just do that? You could be in Vegas by now.

“Bad queg you, lad.”