Pellegrini blames referee, pixies and global warming

Rupert Murdoch, foot and mouth disease and housing crisis also fingered.

Manuel Pellegrini blames referee Jonas Eriksson
Pellegrini… Ref blamer (Image: Дмитрий Голубович)

Manuel Pellegrini blames referee? It happened, alright, as the previously un-outspoken Manchester City boss spoke out in unspeakable fashion following last night’s 2-0 defeat to Barcelona, leaving everyone speechless.

The Chilean, 106, was adamant that his side’s defeat, which leaves their Champions League prospects hanging by a thread, was all the fault of UEFA for appointing Swedish referee Jonas Eriksson to the fixture – and pixies.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Pellegrini explained that the phenomenon known as global warming is also likely to have contributed to the whole farce, not to mention Rupert Murdoch, foot and mouth disease and the housing crisis.

He raged: “It is clear to me that the referee felt he owed Barcelona one after shafting them on a previous occasion.

“This is unacceptable, as are the pixies which ran onto the pitch when Demichelis conceded the penalty and danced around him mockingly, hurling insults at him in what I took to be rudimentary Dutch.

“As it happens I did forget to take my pills this morning, yes, but I fail to see what that has to do with anything.

“Now get out of my office, I’m feeling woozy.”

He added: “Would you like to try some Chilean confectionery? I have it flown over.

“This one’s kind of a flan, it’s nicer than it looks.”

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