Pan You Believe It? Messi’s Mum Goes on Rampage

Mama Messi's frying pan of destruction
Messi... Blue and Red Dwarf (Image courtesy of @diamondbadger)

An old flame of Lionel Messi – you know the guy: about yay high, plays for Barcelona, looks like Chris Barrie – has claimed that the Argentine phenomenon’s mother attacked her with a frying pan.

Macarena Lemos, a 20-year-old model from Rosario, dated Messi for a short while when she was 14 and he was 18 – yeah, we know, but he’s the best player in the world, ergo he can do what he bloody well wants to. Anyway, she was out shopping with her mum and aunt when she noticed Mama Messi following her and, for reasons unexplained, taking pictures of her.

Macarena – heeeeeeey, Macarena! – claims to have no idea what she did to incur the wrath of Lionel’s mum, confiding in Telenoche with the following account:

“She was following me and taking photos until I turned around and asked her what was going on. That’s when she started insulting me. What was she doing there in the electronics section, with a frying pan in her hand? She was following me with a telephone and a frying pan.

“I have never came out and said whether I had slept with her son. I was 14 and he was 18 – and I didn’t reveal anything about our relationship. She treated me like I was nothing, as if I were hanging from her son’s ribs. She seems to think I said something to a magazine, but I never did. They are confused.

“It shocked me because I wasn’t expecting something like that to happen on a Sunday afternoon, especially with my mother and my aunt present. He has bodyguards, but I don’t. I go out on the street and meet my friends like a normal person.”

Macarena reportedly added that spending a night with Messi was “unfinished business” for her. However, the lass in this video might have something to say about that – after all, you know it’s real love when he takes you dolphin dancing…