Neymar called in for ATOS assessment after staying on feet

Brazil star arouses suspicion with show of balance following Bacca shove.

Here's Neymar being swept off his feet at the World Cup
DUPLICITOUS: Neymar (Image: copa2014.gov.br)

Brazil star Neymar has been ordered to undergo an ATOS work capability assessment after uncharacteristically staying on his feet following a powerful shove from Colombia’s Carlos Bacca.

The Barcelona star had previously been considered as something of a delicate flower by those willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, and as something of a conniving rotter by everyone else.

And the sceptics appeared to be vindicated when Neymar remained upright after Bacca’s resounding barge in last night’s Copa America clash, in which Colombia beat Brazil 1-0.

Neymar’s show of balance came in stark contrast to his comprehensive history of tumbling to the turf at the merest hint of contact, as illustrated by this 7-minute compilation:

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a spokesperson for disgraced WCA provider ATOS revealed that they were expecting Neymar in for tests first thing Monday morning.

She said: “We were watching the game from behind a one-way mirror, which may not have been necessary given it was on telly and everything, but in any case we’re now wise to Neymar’s tricks.

“Clearly the man is fit for work after all, and by ‘fit for work’ we of course mean ‘not one of those fainting goats that topples over every few minutes or so’.”

She added: “Yeah, those ones.”