Next Newcastle manager odds-on to be Rangers

Scottish giants offered alternative means of paying back £10m Ashley loan.

Next Newcastle manager odds-on to be Rangers if this guy has his way
Ashley is a big fan of Right Said Fred (Image: Johnvedwards)

Those next Newcastle manager odds have been tempting many a punter with the news that temporary boss John Carver is expected to stay on until the summer, and a shock new candidate has emerged: Rangers.

The Scottish Championship club, troubled, are set to borrow £10m from Magpies owner Mike Ashley’s Sports Direct retail company in order to stay in business – and Football Burp understands that they have been offered an alternative means by which to repay their debt.

Previous Newcastle boss Alan Pardew, now of Crystal Palace, had been the subject of lingering rumours that his presence in the St James’s Park hot seat was down to to gambling debts he owed to Ashley, a sort of managerial take on washing dishes to pay for a meal you haven’t got the money for but have nevertheless already eaten.

We now understand, and therefore see fit to report, that Rangers – all of Rangers – will be allowed to work their way out of hock by managing Newcastle United next season.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, our lawyer warned us not to run with this potentially libellous story.

She said: “I don’t care if it is a slow news day, just get rid of it.

“And if for some birdbrained reason you do decide to publish it, for goodness’s sake don’t quote me in it – this is the last thing I need to be wrapped up in right now.”

The editor of Football Burp was unavailable for comment.