“My dear, it’s only just begun,” men tell football-weary women

An angry woman
This woman drew the line at Spurs-Lazio (Img: Lara604)

Millions of European women were last night reeling after being told that, even though it’s full-time at the Bernabeu, this week’s football has only just begun.

The women, European, sat patiently reading interior design monthlies until the end of Real Madrid’s pulsating 3-2 Champions League win over Manchester City, before saying, “Finally, can we do something else now?”

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, millions of European men expressed their bewilderment that their female counterparts should remain so naively oblivious to the fixture list and their slavering devotion to it, not least this week’s illustrious programme of titanic tussles.

They/you said: “So I says to her, something else? Now?? We’ve got the post-match analysis after the break, then goals from all the other games, including an on-song Arsenal’s trip to Champions League newcomers Montpellier.

“Then there’s the highlights programme, because drama like that is always worth reliving, and then the countdown to Chelsea v Juventus begins with five separate airings throughout the day of a documentary looking back over their unlikely success in last year’s competition, with talking head spots featuring Didier Drogba, John Terry, Frank Lampard, Petr Cech and Roberto Di Matteo.

“Then…THEN…we’ll have the Chelsea-Juve fallout, the goals from all the other games, including Manchester United v Galatasaray, then another highlights programme, which may be even longer if it covers Tuesday night’s action as well.”

According to Football Burp sources, the women only got as far as sighing and uttering the words “okay, but then can we…” before their excited husbands, boyfriends and flatmates continued, “THEN…

“…on Thursday we’ve got Tottenham Hotspur v Lazio in the UEFA Cup – sorry, I meant Europa League – and Liverpool against some young boys, which should be a fascinating encounter between two evenly matched sides. Straight after that it’s the post-match and highlights, a friendly between Brazil and Argentina at 2am UK time, and then the countdown begins to Blackburn Rovers v Middlesbrough on Friday night, or Grimsby Town v Luton Town, whichever one’s shaping up to be the most action-packed…”

The men added: “Hello? HELLO?? If she’s gone round to her mother’s again…”