Mourinho prepped for role as comedy figure

Last night's defeat to Basel was played out to a backdrop of slide whistles and humorous horn sounds.

José Mourinho
Mourinho… Eggs-asperated

José Mourinho’s transition into some kind of comedy figure took a significant step towards completion last night as he rambled about eggs and lost to Basel.

The Chelsea boss, kinda Jack Dee lookin’, had already made an inauspicious start to life back at Stamford Bridge before last night’s Champions League group stage reversal to the Swiss champions, played out to a backdrop of slide whistles and humorous horn sounds.

His new role as a laughing stock then drew tantalisingly closer when everyone started making dreadful puns on his assertion that his squad is comprised of “young, beautiful eggs” – and then some two-bit satirical football website painted clown garb on a photo of him.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Mourinho admitted there would be a mad scramble in January to poach some more players to help bring their title challenge to the boil.

He said: “The responsibility lies with me as I am the one at the yoke.

“Our squad contains many young players who are yet to come out of their shells, so it is natural that they will crack under the pressure from time to time.

“We must look at the sunny side, though – my ideas are going over easy, and these are fried and tested methods.”

He added: “Wait, I’ll think of more…”