Mourinho celebrates Most Newsworthy Manager award

José Mourinho loves mind games
FLUMMOXING: Mind games (Image: Joe Haupt)

José Mourinho was today left celebrating as he once again scooped the prestigious, if weekly, Most Newsworthy Manager gong as decided for by the Football Writers Association.

The association, football writers, cited the Chelsea boss’s latest third season meltdown as reason aplenty for his record 97th consecutive gongscoop.

Yesterday’s 1-2 defeat at home to Crystal Palace looks to have cemented Mourinho’s place in newsworthiness history, coming as it did so hot on the heels of a game at title rivals Man City which saw them take such a comprehensive webbing that spiders went to school in it.

The Portuguese, Aquarius, also made headlines recently when he spectacularly fell out with club doctor Eva Carneiro for failing to successfully implement his latest evil scheme.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Mourinho took time out to deviate from his usual ‘mind games’ approach in favour of a more ‘brain games’ oriented one.

He said: “Fancy a game of Battleships? Castle Defence? Fast Solitaire?

“No? Well, anyway, cheers for the gong and all that. As ever I’m delighted to have scooped it. I’ll go stick it with the others.

“Uh, hey everyone, I know I’ve been a little cranky these last few seasons but you can rest assured I’ll get some, uh, assured rest over the international break and we’ll be back to peak Mourinhosity in no time.

“So don’t switch that dial, we’ve got eight months’ worth of dour 1 and 2-0 wins still to come!”

He added: “Okay, guys, that’s a wrap. Let’s go get Stones.”