Most People Unaware of Clark’s Terriers Failings, Apparently

Lee Clark
Lee Clark... Sacked (image: Mattythewhite)

A shocking 83% of people in this country were unaware of the extent to which Lee Clark was ballsing up the Huddersfield Town job, according to latest figures.

Terriers chairman Dean Hoyle’s decision to remove the former Newcastle United and Sunderland midfielder from the Galpharm Stadium hot seat was met with howls of derision by football supporters up and down the country, many of whom were all like “what, really?” and “I’d have him as our manager”.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a succession of gormless-looking members of the public expressed surprise when told that Clark had in fact frittered away skips full of cash on a squad that ultimately failed to achieve promotion to the Championship, despite going on that mad unbeaten run that everyone remembers hearing about on Soccer Saturday for months on end.

Gavin Burton, a plumber from Newquay, said: “There I was thinking he was one of the brightest young managers in the game.

“That’ll teach me to rely on idle received wisdom when discussing matters of football beyond my ken in future. And, speaking as your average football fan, that really does constitute most matters.

“Still, come on, 43 league games unbeaten – that’s freedom of the city stuff right there.”

Beryl Ford, a housewife from Leeds, said: “Ooh, that could work out nicely – the team my husband supports just got rid of their manager, so maybe Clark can have a go now.

“He looks like such a well-mannered young man, doesn’t he? I mean, I thought Ainsworth and Gudjohnsen were bad signings, and he tinkered with the starting line-up far too much, but he looks like he’s good to his old mum and that’ll do for me.”

Luke Bramwell, aged 6 and a half, said: “I think Lee Clark should be a fireman now.”