Mario Balotelli has only been back in Italy for five minutes and already he’s been totally racisted at, it has been confirmed.
The Inter supporters, really loud and animated when they talk, were so miffed about seeing their former idol turn up to the Milan derby in the colours of bitter rivals AC that they decided to wave inflatable bananas at him, presumably an inference that Balotelli is somehow more primitive than they are, despite their idiotic take on the word and his outstanding professional success by the age of 22.
Balotelli of course had been the subject of racist taunts during his stint as an Inter player prior to joining Manchester City, while a 2010 fixture between Inter and Cagliari had to be halted due to the insistence of the latter’s supporters on throwing bits of penne at Samuel Eto’o with messages such as “Sidney Poitier is rubbish” scrawled on them.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, some passata-smeared headcase stopped hassling passing women for just long enough to claim that the bananas were not a racist gesture but a symbol of Balotelli’s proneness to struggling with simple tasks.
He bellowed: “We all saw Balotelli fiddling about with that training bib, so it stands to reason that he’d have difficulty peeling a banana without starting forest fires around the globe.
“I can assure you there were no racist undertones to the banana-waving, and furthermore those were not fascist salutes – we were imitating Daleks in tribute to their creator Ray Cusick, who sadly passed away over the weekend aged 84.
“We love Doctor Who, because he’s always played by a white guy.”
He added: “Oops.”
He then kicked a meatball at a wall and ran around shouting “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!” while gesticulating at us in a threatening manner.
Balotelli was not available for comment as he was busy strapping jetpacks to nuns.