The Premier League has been accused of recycling classic Arsenal opening day defeats to save shelling out for new episodes, we can reveal.
Viewers complained of “an overwhelming sense of déjà vu” as they watched the Gunners crash and burn at home to some middling claret and blue outfit, followed by a series of comical interviews with disgruntled supporters outside the ground afterwards.
It was only when a lone voice in the ground was heard exclaiming “hang on, this is a repeat!” that everyone began to be swept along in a fervour of suspicion fuelled also by eye-wateringly overpriced and overdiluted lager from the nearby Tollington pub.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Brendan, an Arsenal fan from Islington, claimed to have woken up to the strains of Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe”.
He said: “I don’t even have a radio alarm.
“It was f***ing weird.”