Manufacturers of “Wenger out” banners finally admit it’s over

Five stages of grief completed.

Arsène Wenger statue
WENT: Wenger (Image: Ronnie Macdonald)

Manufacturers of “Wenger out” banners have finally managed to bring themselves to admit that the dream is over.

Having enjoyed years of global success with their product, the low-level entrepreneurs were dismayed to see Arsène Wenger announce his long-awaited departure from the club.

They then went jointly through stages of denial, anger, bargaining and depression before eventually accepting their fate upon seeing Unai Emery unveiled at the Emirates.

Over the course of a series of correspondences, one “Wenger out” banner seller said: “Wenger’s leaving? I’ll believe it when I see it.

“What do you mean it’s in the papers? Which papers? Well, I wouldn’t believe those papers if I were you.

“I can’t believe you’d be so stupid as to believe those papers. Just how much of an idiot are you? Stop messaging me, I hate you.

“Okay, I’ll do you a deal – you get Wenger to stay, and I’ll be your butler for a year. Sound good? Trust me, I’ll do it.

“I’m gonna go listen to Radiohead.”