Are Manchester United lucky again? Well, yes – at least has much was officially decreed by Beelzebub at a press conference this morning.
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The dark angel, malevolent, claimed credit for Robin van Persie’s last-gasp equaliser in the 1-1 draw with Chelsea as well as a host of interventions from referee Phil Dowd that included barging Cesc Fàbregas to the turf with demonic insouciance.
With even Marouane Fellaini stepping up to play a starring role, it is now quite clear that the Premier League is set to see Manchester United lucky again – and it’s all at Satan’s behest.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Lucifer explained that he decided to curtail his renewed dalliance with Liverpool the moment Luis Suárez left for Barcelona.
He roared: “I love that guy – the chomping, the diving, the racial epithets, he’s my kind of player.
“Frankly I’ve never cared for that David Moyes either, God-fearing Christian man that he is.
“Once he’d gone too, it was only natural that I shifted my allegiances back to the Red Devils. I may be diabolical but I haven’t forgotten all the good times I’ve enjoyed with United.
“Not even the presence in their ranks of an Ángel could stop me coming back for more. We just make a good team.”