Manchester United kit deal news just in – Adidas have denied the existence of a ‘Lionel Messi clause’ in their contract with the Premier League giants, reportedly worth £750m over ten years.
According to a number of innocuous Twitter accounts, the German multinational agreed to funnel obscene amounts of money into the Red Devils on the additional understanding that their boots be worn by all players at all times, even in the shower.
Cooperation in this regard shall purportedly be rewarded by Adidas fixing it for every single one of their players to be named as Officially the Best Player of whichsoever match, tournament or even five-a-side training session they take part in.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a spokesperson for Adidas quashed, laughed off and poured scorned on suggestions of a Messi clause in the Manchester United kit deal.
He said: “That’s a load of rubbish, as is the entirely fabricated story doing the rounds that the kit will be riddled with toxic substances and parasites.
“Just to reiterate, all awards, gongs and personal accolades will have to be earned by the individual. These aren’t Golden Balls you know, we can’t just hand them out willy-nilly.
“Besides, it’d be downright impractical to name the whole team Man of the Match every week, regardless of performance.”
He added: “While we’re at it, you can start stylising our brand name correctly and all – it’s adidas with a small a, and you have to draw some cool swooshy lines around it and stuff.
“I don’t care if you can’t do that in WordPress. Find another way.”
The Manchester United kit deal was unavailable for comment as it remains in the early stages of developing a mind of its own.