Managing Watford is set to become a civic duty, a bit like jury service or conscription, it has been announced.
The Hornets, somehow high-flying in the Championship despite seeming to concede last-gasp equalisers about three times a week, will open their managerial hot seat to the public on a non-voluntary basis.
Although former Chelsea midfielder* Slaviša Jokanović was only this morning unveiled as the successor to Billy McKinlay, who in turn was only unveiled as Óscar García’s successor late last night, you – yes, YOU, the reader – could very well be managing Watford within the next fortnight.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp via live satellite link-up, Prime Minister David Cameron outlined the terms of compulsory Watford-managing.
He said: “When you’re sent a Watford manager summons, you must complete and return it within seven days.
“Once your managerial stint is confirmed, you must turn up on the agreed start date. If you don’t, you could be fined £1,000.
“Managing Watford is unpaid but you can claim for food and drink, travel and loss of earnings. Just don’t take the piss, or we’ll send Troy Deeney round to kick your stupid head in.
“It usually lasts for up to ten working days but can be longer – and no, as far as I know this new ruling does not contravene the 1998 Human Rights Act.
“Even if it does, we’ll soon put paid to that anyway. So quit whining and start thinking about what you’re going to do with Lloyd Doyley.”