“Lower ticket prices so we can afford drones,” demand fans

Thought they looked like a laugh in that Serbia v Albania game the other night.

Lower ticket prices could enable you to buy one of these

Ticket prices are way too high these days – make them lower so we can all go out and purchase drones, they look like a laugh going by that Serbia v Albania footage.

That’s the opinion of football fans up and down the country, who are sick of being taken for a ride and fancy having a go at disrupting high-profile matches in outlandish fashion.

A BBC study published yesterday has reported that the average price of the cheapest tickets in English football has risen at almost twice the rate of the cost of living since 2011.

On Tuesday night a Euro 2016 qualifier between Serbia and Albania had to be abandoned in Belgrade after a drone-fuelled mass brawl broke out amongst players and supporters, scenes that have been described as “hilarious” by nobheads.

While the Belgrade drone sparked fury by trailing a provocative flag depicting Kosovo as part of Albania, it has been noted by the aforementioned nobheads that drones could be deployed “more banterfully”.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Phil, a Manchester United supporter from Dewsbury, pointed out what a jolly good wheeze it would be to circumnavigate the pitch with some kind of banner about Yaya Touré and birthday cake.

He said: “I can’t think of anything funny right now but you get the gist of it.

“The only way to make football the people’s game once again is to lower ticket prices enough that we can afford to fill our boots with shoddy merchandise, our faces with scalding hot pies and the skies with humorous messages.

“Or political ones, if you’re into that.”

He added: “What a matchgoing experience that would be, if we could create our own visual entertainment during particularly turgid encounters.

“No more reading the advertising hoardings out of boredom.”