Looming spectre of international break leaves everyone in dread

Prospect of England v Scotland not enough to prevent naked doom-mongering in our streets.

International break induced scream
PRIMAL: Scream (Image: Crosa)

The reality of a two-week international break has just dawned on everyone, leaving them panic-stricken, we can confirm.

Not even the imminent spectacle of England v Scotland could lift the gloom as millions faced up to the barren fortnight ahead.

To make matters worse, the USA will tonight initiate steps towards a nuclear winter that could interfere with Premier League fixtures still further.

With the current international break still in its infancy, not everyone has yet taken to running naked through the streets proclaiming end of days.

But such incidents are expected to rise sharply the first time Chris Smalling does an interview with Garth Crooks saying what an honour it is to yadda yadda yadda.

Police have drawn attention to the increasingly cold weather, which could present health complications to anyone planning on nude doom-mongering.