Look Everyone, England’s New Manager Don’t Talk Proper!

New England manger Roy Hodgson
Hodgson... Cabbage, or something (Img: Mikhail Slain)

Look everyone, England’s new manager don’t talk like what most people do, we can exclusively reveal.

Yesterday saw English football brought to its knees when everyone’s fave gaffer Harry Redknapp was snubbed by the FA, who instead swooped for the manager of a team whose players have probably never romped orgy shocker despite presenting themselves as a top hubby all over the shop.

The new boss, bland, was left raging when he was rightfully quizzed about playing in South Africa during the Apartheid, leaving England’s 2012 hopes in turmoil, tatters and shreds, although fans were handed a boost when he opened his mouth and spoke in a way what is sure to be well easy to take the piss out of.

By which we mean, of course, bullying him and everyone important to him into submission at the first sign of turmoil things not going like what they should.

The idiot man told a packed press room: “Welease Woderick!”

At this stage, we’re thinking about portraying him as some kind of dour vegetable, like a cabbage or something, and we’ve written down the headline “Woy of the Woe-vers!” and gone stuck it in the freezer so it don’t go off or nothing.

What’s this nation coming to? Now, look at the tits on this celeb!

What have you been raging about this morning? Spew your offensive gibberish in the comments section below!